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Talking to Your Kids about Social Distancing and Coronavirus

Admit it, parents, having kids is hard. Having kids at home for extended periods is harder. Having kids at home for an indefinite period full of uncertainty during a pandemic is downright terrifying. 

There’s no rulebook that covers this scenario, at least, one that isn’t fiction, and as we struggle with our own anxiety over getting sick, the measures necessary to reduce the spread of the disease, or even the financial consequences of staying at home, explaining to our kids, probably repeatedly, why they can’t have friends over or play at the playground or grandma’s house can add a heck of a lot of stress. 

By now, you’ve probably already talked to your kids about the coronavirus, but just like it is with adults, the constant mention of it in the media and how our lives are being affected by it can cause considerable anxiety. The most important thing is to process your own fears first. If you’re panicking, your kids are going to panic too, and we don’t want our children to think the world is so scary. 

But, let’s say, they overheard someone talking about dying and they’re afraid they might die too. You can’t simply say, “you’ll be fine,” and think that’s going to make them feel less scared. Your kids need to feel heard, so whether we like it or not, we have to make time for this conversation. Ask them directly what they know and what they would like to know. Explain that this illness is different than a cold because it’s new, but scientists and really smart people all around the world are trying to figure out how to keep people safe and healthy.

Be honest but emphasize the positive—yes, some people have died from this disease, but in children, the symptoms are not as severe. School closures, city shutdowns, and canceling social gatherings are all things we need to do to reduce the spread of the virus in our community and protect the people who are at risk of getting really sick, like older people or those who might have health conditions. 

Some children will be thrilled that school is cancelled. Others will feel depressed at not seeing friends. Social distancing is probably the toughest part of this experience, but remind them that they are heroes for keeping themselves, their family and other people in the community safe. 

Parents should keep a schedule. It may be tough trying to balance work and homeschooling your kids, but maintaining a routine will add the structure that they need. Staying busy is the easiest way to stave off anxiety, boredom, and complaints. A wealth of resources exist to keep kids busy both online and offline.

Finally, staying connected with family and friends is a way to change the narrative away from social distancing as a form of social isolation. Schedule virtual play dates, or group activities (like their music lessons at Hawaii MusicWorks), so that children feel as though they are connected to the outside world. 

As an optimist, I see this as an opportunity to reconnect with the people who are important in our lives. It’s a step back, if you will, to give us some time to read books, rekindle relationships, play games, go out for walks, and spend more time without children. In other words, do all those things we don’t make time for in this fast-paced world we live in. 

It’s also a teachable moment. Reinforce good hygiene. Make sure that kids are washing their hands thoroughly before and after meals, after they go to the bathroom, after they come in from outside and after they’ve blown their nose or put their hands in their mouth. Not spreading the illness is equally about keeping ourselves healthy and acting in the best interest of our community. Practicing compassionate behavior will, hopefully, lead to greater empathy and compassion in their daily lives. 

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If you need a little help getting the conversation started, here are some excellent resources for little kids about the coronavirus, where it came from, and why governments and businesses are responding the way they are:
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